Burn

The fiery flames

of purification

will come to consume

your old identifications of self

so let them burn away

and dance joyfully

around the effulgent fire of what was.

The new you is birthed of the breakdown,

rising of the ashes

with truth in our eyes

pure love in our chest

we surrender to the magic

and

let god lead the rest.

Love in Flames

I desire to pour out this love I have bubbling up from within; to drench you in it so deeply as we bathe together in the bliss of divine union with the All. I want to ooze sensual pleasure like a sweet nectar, gushing from my very being. My breath on your neck, my lips kissing you softly and my finger tips caressing every inch of your flesh, the tingling sparks of pleasure spreading up your spine like wildfire.  I’d like to make you feel love like you never have before. A love that takes you off your feet, floating through the skies to the heavenly gates that bring us to that place of divine ecstasy. All pervading, all consuming, tintilating and igniting in you like a smoldering  hot pink hearth. A love that makes you go ablaze, lighting a flame within you you never knew you had. A flame that drives you to be the person the world so desperately needs, supported by the love of a woman who knows you down to your very depths. I will submerge myself in your waters, treading where none have dared go before. I will stare your shadow in the face, bearing all the ugliness you’ve kept hidden for so long, you can pour it out on me as we battle our dark parts one by one, burning them up with the light of our love, hand in hand.  I want our love to shake the world awake from its slumber, a passion so luminous it blinds the eyes and awakens the hearts of all who see it. 

I want all of you, every bit of your soul to weave with mine as we spiral up the caduceus, awakening, remembering, and enacting our true purpose. We will love one another so fully, so unconditionally, so gently, but so intensely that it will alter the destiny of all humankind. We will show the world what true love really means in human terms. What it means to be partners, teammates, best friends, lovers and travelers of the unseen realms. Two completely whole beings, physically embodying, uniting, and balancing the divine masculine and feminine, creating an unstoppable force of creative power.  My heart burns for you, longing to touch you, to feel you, to gaze into the eyes of the one who reflects back that familiar presence I have always sought after. A perfect reflection and mutual reciprocation. I am unabashedly obsessed with love, with passion, with merging with your heart, your body, your soul. I want you to catch me as I fall into your arms, naked and vulnerable. I want to watch you undress your armored heart, as I undress mine as well. We will lay down our defenses and rush in like fools, trusting against all odds and past hurts that love is real and love is alive. I want to lay my heart on yours and let it sink in, fully exposed, tender and sweet. We will break the barriers that have kept us from true intimacy. We will bridge the chasm the has robbed us of a pure connection; heart to heart, mind to mind, soul to soul. I trust, I am unafraid, I believe in love, I believe in romance and I know you are out there. I pray for our union to align like the stars in the heavens, spinning us into cosmic orbit like the heavenly bodies we inhabit.
I love you and I am yours for eternity.

The Giver

I am learning to love myself

Even when I feel unattractive, unlovable, unworthy.

That is when I need the most love.

I am learning to forgive myself

even when I make mistakes I’ve made

a hundred times before.

That is when I need my own forgiveness

I am learning to respect myself

even when I lose respect from others.

That is when I need respect the most.

I am worthy of love, forgiveness, and respect.

As I give to myself, I receive from others as well.

I am learning that to put myself first is not selfish,

It is necessary. To not put myself first is neglect.

The more I give to myself, the more I have to give.

I deserve all that I have to offer.

The giver must learn to be a receiver also.

The giver must learn to recognize her constant giving, her value, her energy, her healing, her love, her worth.

She needs to take time to nurture herself, to envelop herself in her own care and compassion which she so freely gives to all who come her way. She must empathize with her own troubles and lend a listening ear to the woes and worries of her own mind, to cry on her own shoulder. She is her own shaman, her own mother, sister, friend and lover. She carries the womb of all things, all things are created by and through her.

And so she is it all, and must be to herself and all else.

The crux of creation,

the bearer of life itself

with all its pains and sorrows, joys and triumphs.

She holds it all within her blessed womb, thrusting it forth into the world of manifestation.

Her heart beating in rhythm with each genesis, their hearts are her heart.

Their pain, her pain, their joy, her joy. She feels it all, she bears it all, she is the core, the essence, the lifeblood.

So honor her, the goddess, in your own self. She is there. Heart beating alongside your own. Breath breathing with each inhale. Tears streaming as your cry in aguish. 

She is there and she longs to re-unite.

In bloom

Give me room
to splay my petals
Grant me the space
to rise up tall
I need air
to blossom fully.
Rooted in earth,
I unfold to the gentle caress
of warm sunlight.

A beautiful flower
can only be admired,
observed with baited breath
to watch her open,
revealing her tender inner core.
She cannot be poked or pryed,
only gently coaxed with love
and in due time
she'll dazzle you
with the heavenly aroma
of her bliss.

Reclaiming our Goddesshood

Our society is not used to seeing and allowing for the empowered feminine vibration. Women in this world seek their empowerment by emulating men. They become hard and cut-throat business people, dressing and acting like men in order to feel some sense of respect or power. This is not true feminine empowerment. Women are told that their emotions are irrational and "crazy" and are seen as a weakness, when, in fact, that is one of our greatest strengths. It has been and continues to be quite a journey for us women to discover and embody our true power. The female body has been so over-sexualized in our culture that men tend to see us as an object to be owned and used rather than a sacred form for the goddess to work through. Patriarchal dynamics are so ingrained in our ancestral lineage that even if a man, in theory, says and thinks he supports equality between men and women he will still unconsciously play out patterns which subjugate, objectify, and suppress women into a societally conditioned female role. There is a whole belief system we are programmed with that supports these foundational beliefs that men are meant to be in dominant leadership roles and women are supposed to be seen and not heard. Especially men in america who have been genitally mutilated (circumcised) at birth have a particular disdain and resentment for the feminine who failed to uphold their trust in their vulnerable state at that very important first introduction to the world. This makes it difficult for them to trust women and be a truly supportive partner because they are still harboring this anger and resentment toward the feminine. 

I am learning that as women we cannot force or teach our men how to support us in our flowering. We have to go ahead and do it without them. We need full independence in order to discover our own strength and rise into the benevolent power of the Goddess. There's no way we can truly bloom if we are under the thumb of a man who is constantly, although maybe unknowingly, suppressing us and forcing us into an inferior female role. This is part of our path of empowerment, to disentangle ourselves from this type of relationship, to lift ourselves out of the submissive female role and to know what it is to stand on our own two feet and be unafraid to embody the totality of womanhood. The time has come to learn what being a strong female is really all about. It is time to look and feel beautiful, to love and admire ourselves and our sisters, and treat ourselves the way we would want a man to treat us; gently, kindly and with respect and reverence for this sacred female vessel. We must rise together as warrior women, empowering and encouraging each other to bloom into own own unique expression of the goddess. We must prove to ourselves and the men in our lives that we are competent leaders and co-creators, paving the way for the new paradigm with compassion and honor for all life, letting our intuition guide the way. Only from our own stance of empowerment can we seek to create balance and harmony in sacred partnership. We have to get our own ball rolling so to speak and stop waiting for a man to push it for us. It is time now for women to reclaim their birthright as the receptacle for the love, wisdom and power of the Goddess, the giver and nurturer of life itself. 

The Creation Process - Manifesting Your Heart’s Desires

Looking back over the past three years since I dropped out of college to chase my dreams, I have learned a lot about how (and more importantly how not) to create a life that I truly want to live. I am getting closer than ever to being in an ideal location, with a cozy home, a fulfilling job, with amazing food, friends and fun abound. So here is what I've learned on my path to creating an exciting, happy and fulfilling life: 

The first and most important principle for manifesting is to always work for the highest good of yourself and all concerned. You are not going to get anywhere by being selfish and the universe will throw it back in your face. Open your heart and feel compassion for yourself, others and the world at large. Think about how your success can contribute to the success of those around you and how that makes life better for everyone. Contemplate a better world, where everyone has what they need always, where there is no suffering, hatred, war or greed and think about what your place in that world would be. Are you a great musician, healer, dancer, artist, writer, thinker, builder, farmer, scientist, athlete, or organizer? Aligning your vision with a vision that betters the entire planet is a sure-fire way to get what you want with the force of creation as the wind in your sails. Ultimately a world where everyone gets to realize their dreams and contribute their passions is a better place indeed.

Next, set a clear intention for what you would ideally like to have in your life. Forget about money and worldly limitations and let yourself dream and fantasize about what would be truly fulfilling, what would be your ideal life. Go big! Include all the details and anything that may seem trivial. Maybe you want to become better at yoga, work with animals, live in the tropics, grow a garden, write a novel, attain perfect health, or open a juice bar. No dream is too big or too small. If you figure out what it is exactly that you want, down to the last detail, it is more likely to manifest in your physical reality. Spend some time meditating on these dreams, visualizing them, feeling what it would be like to have all these things actualized. 

Then, make a list of goals that you have for yourself, skills that you would like to acquire, or places you would like to visit. What realistic steps can you take today to get you closer to your dreams? Once you have this down, it is time to go out an take action! Sign up for yoga classes, go to the farmers market and buy all the healthy food you need for your new healthy lifestyle, start advertising your services, read up on gardening, book a ticket to the location you’ve always wanted to see. Action is a demonstration of our commitment and seriousness to make our dreams really happen right here and now. Consistency is important, so make sure to stay focused on your vision and weed out any distractions that keep your dreams from manifesting like T.V., mindless Facebook scrolling, or anything else that does not serve your vision.

Keep in mind you may have to let go of people, places, things, and habits that are not serving you to reach your dreams. Let these go with ease and grace realizing that people, places, things and habits that are more aligned with your vision will come to take their place. This is literally the process of a reality upgrade, so be prepared for your life to shift radically. If you end up manifesting something that is not what you desire, you can always go back to the drawing board and start over. You are not “stuck” ever, you can always begin anew and dream a new dream. This is how we figure out what we truly want. 

Happy Dreaming

With Everlasting Unconditional Love

Rising Fawn

Kambo Frog Medicine: My Experience

Frog medicine is akin to water energy. It brings cleansing, releasing, healing, replenishment, and purification.

It was my last couple of days in Asheville. I was informed a friend of John’s would be bringing Kambo and holding ceremony nearby. I had heard of it before as being a powerful detoxifier, and knew friends who had done it, but I wasn’t entirely sure what it was all about. I asked my trustworthy amethyst merkaba pendulum, a clear channel to my higher self whether or not I would participate in the ceremony. It swung to the left, indicating yes. When the practitioner arrived, he seemed somewhat uneasy, wide eyed, and withdrawn. He and the others warned me how intense the medicine is. Fear gripped me and the uneasiness of this wide-eyed frog-like man gave me second thoughts about participating in the ceremony. I didn’t even really know what the medicine was for other than cleansing the energetic field. It seemed like a lot of pain and discomfort to go through for such an intangible result. I left with Nick and we ventured to a waterfall far away from the city. I went against the guidance of the pendulum and drove off way out of town to seek solace in the mountains. As I was sitting in the stream, I got the nudge from above that I was meant to make it to the ceremony that night. I double-checked that it wasn’t too late, and when I heard that it wasn’t, I got the address of the land where it would be held and floated, carried by spirit the whole way there. The ceremony was being held at “RiverHeart Sanctuary”. I barreled down a rocky, grassy road all the way down to the river. I was suddenly in the middle of a very enchanted forest. When I arrived to the little campsite by the river, Z had just taken the medicine, his face was flushed, eyes red, with red dots in a geometric shape around his stomach. I decided to take a dip in the river before the ceremony. Just as Nick and I were sitting on the rocks by the water, a frog jumped in with a sploosh. Frog medicine was making its presence known. Hesitant at first, I thrust myself into the water, ducking my head under and emerged, cleansed and refreshed. John was next up for the ceremony, I watched nervously as he purged into the hole dug into the earth and went back and forth to the outhouse. When he finished, it was my turn to get my marks for where the burns would be. The practitioner tested to find my meridian and marked four dots from below my sternum down to my belly button. He lit a stick and burned four dots into the skin on my stomach where he had made the marks. I shrieked and fought myself not to push him away. Then came the jape. He blew a mix of sacred tobacco and herbs into each of my nostrils. It made me feel clear, alert and grounded immediately and served to guide the kambo medicine. Then, he had me drink a lot of water and placed the waxy looking medicine on the four burns on my stomach. At first I felt ok, then slowly I started to feel hot and itchy, my neck and face felt like they were swelling up. I prayed to frog medicine to heal me, cleanse me, release me. I felt the force of the medicine pushing everything out of my body in both directions. At first I thought I would have a bowel movement, but then the energy moved up and I purged into the hole in the earth. Then, the tears welled up in me and I started weeping profusely from the physical pain, but more-so the emotional pain that I had been carrying around. I cried and cried, not holding back, letting it all out as frog medicine honored my tears by cleansing my soul.  Another purge came, and then another this time even stronger and more forceful. I sat up, blowing my nose, wiping my mouth, still crying, but so so humbled and incredibly grateful. The whole time I was thanking pachamama, frog medicine, and my helping spirits for this experience. I released the toxicity, physical, emotional and mental that I had been holding on to.  As my portion of the ceremony was finishing, the darkness was falling on us and we packed up and went back to the house for the night. Halfway through the drive home I started to feel more normal again. The burns still hurt and my throat was sore from all the purging, but i felt this sense of renewal, of clarity, my energy field was indeed cleared of toxic energies and negative entity attachments. Basically, negative entities are highly energized thought forms of negativity, fear, anger, hatred, greed, gluttony, etc. When we energize these types of thoughts and emotions, they turn into what we call “demons”, but really they are not some unknown, outside boogeyman, they are the dark parts of ourselves that we refuse to look at an deal with which end up attaching to our auric field and draining our energy. I am incredibly proud of myself for going through with it. The burns on my stomach are a constant reminder of my dedication to my healing journey, my love for myself, and my own bravery, strength, and resilience. I definitely recommend this medicine to anyone on the journey to purification. It not only cleanses you physically, but also emotionally and energetically. It was an amazing opportunity to release everything that was standing in the way of my growth and expression of my true self. I feel lighter, happier, freer, without the burden of all that emotional, physical, mental and energetic baggage.

Why I'm Growing My Hair

As a woman living in this modern society, I have been subject to mental conditioning which impresses that having body hair is repulsive and not lady-like. Over the past few years I have been on a quest to completely deprogram from the mental and social conditioning that goes on in our modern society. My journey has led me to self-love and acceptance, to releasing feelings of guilt and shame and among other things it has led me to stop shaving the hair off my body. I have realized since that constantly removing hair is a state of war with the self. It's an act of fighting against natural process which is a never-ending battle to present the self in a way which is not its natural state. Part of the process of developing unconditional self-love is a process of acceptance: Acceptance of the physical body, our emotional, mental and spiritual selves, and ultimately our self as a whole being of divine light.

Since stopping shaving I have felt a greater sense of peace and love within and for myself and my body temple. I have ended the war with myself which goes on in every western woman for the sole purpose of reaching some unreachable societal ideal of beauty perfection. We are constantly trying to become something we are not and it creates a disharmonious relationship with our innermost self.
Another huge step in this process has been to have confidence in my body in its natural state, which does have hair, and have my partner love and accept me for that as well. Although it may have been a startling transition at first, it doesn't bother him whatsoever now and he doesn't consider me any less beautiful because I choose not to shave.
All in all I feel this is an important step for every woman to take in regaining the goddess power even if then you decide you simply like to shave. You'll be surprised at how liberating it makes you feel! But don't continue to engage in body warfare just for the sake of societal acceptance and that you don't feel you'll be seen as attractive if you leave your body to its natural progressions. We are beautiful perfect beings in the eyes of our Creator. To love and accept our bodies as a divine creation is the most powerful way we can give thanks for our existence.
Happy Hair Growing!